Alternia Is A Pot Full Of Jellybeans
by TemporalApparition
Summary: When the trolls have a party, Vriska gets into serious trouble.


There was a cardboard box on the floor. No one knew how it got there especially since there is a party happening and NO one ordered any mail order crap today.  
So Tavros gently poked the box. The box magically opened with green sparkles.  
Inside the box was a hat that had stairs on it. Suddenly Nepeta stole the box and ran off with it and Tavros was very a sad.

Meanwhile Aradia was gathering some chairs. She had to pick the best chairs.  
Not the moldy ones. Or the blue ones with the sparkly crap covering them. (someone was here before and they must of really liked sparkly crap)  
Kanaya helpfully broke the unwanted chairs into little pieces and then put them in a jar to be mixed in with the cake for later.  
Kanaya then went to inform Vriska that ALL OF THE ROOMS must be checked for abominations of the yaoi kind Vriska endered room 456a and saw the most AMAZING shoe ever in existence the shoe was green and it had kawaaiyu hearts on it but then the shoe exploded like BOOM and little pieces of swedish cheese flew everywhere Vrsiak continued her journay to check all of the rooms.

A wild Gamzee appeared in front of Tavros and gave him a comic book about MENLY WOMEN and then left Tavros was not very a sad any longer his passion for the rare menly women destroyed the sad.

Vriska walked into room 101y and what she saw was MAZING...  
there was a blapck and red centipede on the floor "I MUST PRESERVE THIS CREATURE'S DESERVING LIFE!"  
vriska motherly picedk up the centipede in her hands. And began her quest... to preserve the creatures deserving life.  
Her plan was to take this thing into the holy container of YIFF "I will name you... 8ill"  
AND SO THE CREATURS NAME WAS BILL Vriska set out to presevr the deserving life. Meanwhile Feferi found a spoon.

Vriska ran through the wide, long corridors of the building the party was being held in. Along they way, she crashed into Eridan, knocking his head off. "wwhore." He picked his head back up and proceeded to fall through the floor. Vriska didn't care, so she continued her quest. She had to go fast.  
There it was, in front of her. The Stairs of Self Confidence. This was the first obstacle in Vriska's quest, but she would do anything to preserve the centipede's deserving life. Vriska took her first step on the orange staircase. It was painful and undeserving. Halfway up, Vriska fell down the stairs. She couldn't do it. She was not ready for the stairs.

Tavros was sitting on the purple chair of wonderment when Vriska came into the room crying. "I was not it. That I was not ready for the stairs. It was my foot pain!" She buried her head into a brown cushion. Tavros tried to hug Vriska but before he could suddenly Eridan. "i am back bitches" He was wielding a grapefruit, armed and dangerous. "nOT THE GRAPEFRUIT, PLEASE," shrieked Tavros. The grapefruit shined with blinding light as Eridan used it to cut off Tavros' head. Vriska had an unintelligent look on her face as Tavros bled everywhere. "see you later landwwellers" Eridan exited the room on rollerskates. Nepeta entered the room, pointed at Tavros, said "adssfop" and left again. Vriska was speechless as to what just happened. But... it was a sign. A sign to tell her to never give up. On those stairs.

Vriska ran towards the stairs with confidence. She knew she could do it this time.  
She had the power in her. She scrambled up the stairs, coping with the intense pain and depression in her feet. When she reached the top, she collapsed on the purple floor.

Vriska got up and glanced at what was in front of her. There were exactly one hundred and four doors, each in a different hexidecimal shade of blue.

"Oh my god, I never was a8le to do this! It's impossi8le! Una8le to grasp until the 8lue door selection."

She almost cried again, but then she remembered what happened to Tavros and the true courage awakened in her. She could not give up.  
She was going to do this.  
For the deserving life of the insect.  
Knowing that she was probably too weak to challenge the blue doors, Vriska looked around for things to eat. There was nothing but blue doors in sight.  
Vriska only had one option. She had to enter a door.  
But which one?

Karkat was busy reading his favourite Alternian newspaper, The Daily Fuck when suddenly Sollux came running into the room.  
"kk thii2 ii2 an emergency kk help"  
Unable to ignore Sollux, Karkat angrily replied "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"  
Sollux paused for a few seconds before demanding "make me beautiiful" and then gave Karkat some makeup. Everyone had a horrified look on their face even Vriska who was surely a good five miles away from where the event was happening.  
Even though it seemed ridiculous, Karkat decided to agree to it anyway and began putting the lovely purple and pink lipstick all over Sollux's face.  
"thank you ii am beautiiful now"

She decided to pick a random door. Without thinking about it, Vriska entered the #1267bf colored door. To her surprise, the room was filled with screenshots of various anime with Equius' head photoshopped all over them; each one saved in the lowest quality JPEG format.  
Vriska's eyes began to bleed as she saw the comic-sans writing on the walls.  
She couldn't take this much madness, so she quickly left the room.  
Time to pick a different door.  
She decided to pick a much calmer shade of blue, so this time she went for the #c2bfff door.  
To her horror, this room was filled with nothing but the contents of the Furry fandom.  
Instantly, she felt excruciating pain as she gazed upon all the fursuits, yiff and dildos.  
No longer being able to move, Vriska fell to the ground and wriggled in agony.  
Eventually, she blacked out.

Sollux carefully approached Aradia, trying to get her attention.  
"hey hey hey lii2ten two me"  
Aradia turned around. "what d0 y0u need"  
"tell me ii'm beautiiful."  
"0_0"  
"tell me ii'm beautiiful now"  
"s0llux are y0u 0k"  
"tell me ii'm beautiiful now"  
"n0"  
"why not"  
"because y0u are n0t beautiful s0llux"  
And then before Sollux could tell Aradia just how sexist she was being, suddenly there was a massive explosion.  
"landwwellers i am back"

The massive explosion caused the unconcious Vriska to fall back down the stairs she had once climbed with pride, sending her to doom.  
Fortunately, she was not alone. Nepeta was helpfully standing at the bottom of the stairs, and as soon as Vriska came falling down she soaked her in lemon juice, causing her to wake up.

But trouble was going on. Eridan was here to cause great destruction and terror, and no one knew how to stop him. Vriska got up off of the floor.  
"Hmm I'm I'm here 8ecause I I'm Eridan. Why spoil our party?" Vriska groaned.  
"no you are not eridan because im eridan that is vvery fuckin obvvious"  
Vriska noticed that Eridan was wearing the kawaii green shoes she saw earlier whilst making preparations.  
"Do you like these shoes? They split when I saw! What is this magic?"  
She was very confused. She saw the shoes explode into pieces of swedish cheese right before her eyes.  
"im the only one wwho can wwear shoes as uguu as these ones im your leader noww"  
And then suddenly Kanaya "I Would Like All Of You Just To Pause For A Moment And Stop Arguing"  
All of the trolls looked back at her, even the ones who weren't previously in the room. Everyone was teleported to Kanaya because of her special powers.  
"Are You Forgetting Why We Gathered Into This Establishment In The First Place We Are Here To Hold A Celebration Of Some Description And Violently Decapitating Eachother Is Not How To Do That"  
Aradia looked a bit distressed. "he was wr0ng he beautiful s0llux chair if chair"  
"It Will Make Sense In Time Young One But Before That I Am Kanaya Maryam And Now I Shall Fly Away At A Dramatic Angle While Stating That I Am Indeed Leaving This Area"  
And so she did just that.  
Terezi climbed on top of the table and declared "W3 MUST M4K3 TH1S P4RTY TH3 B3ST TH3R3 3V3R W4S"  
"and ii wiill contriibute wiith my beautiiful"  
There was a long silence.

"no fuck that shit im eridan"  
Eridan took off his sugoi shoes and aimed them at the rest of the trolls.  
"i do wwhat i wwant"

And then suddenly a pink car crashed through the wall, and John stepped out.  
"hi guys!"  
"Eg8ert John!" cried Vriska. "Fast, homosexuality, homosexuality is all the evil, evil force Eridan Eridan shop!"  
"vriska there's no need to be homophobi-"  
And then John was crushed by a giant cup of tea.  
"uHH, I GOT THE TEA,,, Guys,,,"  
"Tavros-or or or how you are still alive? Eridan cut your head!"  
"gAMZEE DID IT,,,"  
"You don't need to kill the Eridan! Sweden!"  
So Vriska violently tore Tavros into little pieces and then drowned him for good measure.  
"wwell that wwas hot hey vvris wwanna make out"  
"No! Forever forever, simply, is what fate. Such as the Eridan!"  
"fine fuck you I am leavving noww"  
And so Eridan fucked off.  
Now all Vriska had to worry about was the mess that the pink car had created, the giant cup of tea,  
and the corpses of John and Tavros.

Aradia turned to Nepeta.  
"check the catnip there is a l0t 0f 0ur drinks"  
And so Nepeta went off to do that.  
Vriska stared at the dead Tavros. "Eridan matesprit I was stupid. He will never."  
Then she picked up all the dead bodies but then suddenly Jade arrived in a pink rocket-powered bathtub and stole John's body and then left.  
Vriska swore at the second hole in the wall. "Stop the destruction of the 8uildings!" she cried.  
"Everything is shit."

Meanwhile Sollux and Karkat were in the bathroom.  
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU BRING ME FOR"  
"becau2e you wiill embrace my beauty al2so let2 make out"  
And then suddenly Equius and he said "D- Cannot be Karkat Vantas." and then kidnapped Karkat and left.  
Then Sollux declared "ii am beautiiful and forever alone but mostly beautiiful"  
Eridan appeared out of nowhere. "i am forevver alone too wwanna make out"  
"2ure"  
AND THEN SUDDENLY HOT YAOIS EVERYWHORE!1!1!11111

Nepeta hurried back into the room.  
":33 aradia!"  
"what"  
":33 i am really her wall soot event!"  
"n0 y0u did it wr0ng check y0ur drink"  
Nepeta ran off to do the job properly this time.

Vriska suddenly screamed "Fans of the furry art! This will 8e escaped! God help" and she was right, suddenly there was furry porn everywhere. People started to die.  
"Quick Vriska Grip Onto My Extremely Attractive Buttocks And We Shall Exit This Establishment And Rise Into The Skies"  
and with that, Vriska and Kanaya flew away outside of the building. "8ut what about other.  
Karkat? Sollux Equius? Will not die either of? Of course, you cannot give fuck me."  
"They Will Find Their Own Solutions"

And then suddenly the building everyone was once in began to explode.  
"Soon" said Kanaya.  
"Kanaya, where to go? What do now?" Vriska asked her.  
"We Are Going To Find The Airport"

":33 the place is exploding!"  
"thank p0int 0bvi0us catnip"  
Aradia picked up Nepeta, put her in a cardboard box and got out of the building as fast as she could.

Meanwhile Sollux and Eridan "wwhoa fuck the place is explodin wwhat do"  
"our hot yaoii power2 and my beauty wiill keep u2 2afe"  
So they used the power of yaois to fly out of the building and teleport to the local UGUU club.

Equius was still with Karkat. Instead of escaping the building, he too fell through the floor and stayed there.  
"D- We are at safe"

"Airport? Who is discovered 8efore airport? Kanaya, madness!"  
"Trust Me I Know What I Am Doing I Am An Expert On This-" before she could finish, Kanaya started to fly slower.  
"Oh, what's wrong?" Vriska seemed confused.  
"Oh Dear It Appears My Attractive Buttocks Are Losing Power I Am Going To Have To Land Before They Become Unattractive"  
Kanaya headed towards the nearest sign of life Wal-Mart She landed in the parking lot.  
"Vriska" she said "Go And Find Me A Banana Smoothie To Preserve My Buttocks"  
Preserve... the insect! How could she forget?  
Vriska reached into her pocket, but to her horror the insect was not there. Instead, there was a piece of paper that had "transfer the plan t0 run the tragic death 0f the m0ther aradia 0u0" written on it.  
"Is fucking damn Medigoooooooo!"

To be continued...? 


End file.
